In this blog I'm going to talk about a tidbit of info not even my husband knew about & the revelation I had on a trip Springfield today. But first ... here's a little one year comparison for you! Holy Moly!!! <mind you the 1st was taken in an on flattering pose and I had fair hair... but yeah> On to the story --- About 4 years ago we discovered that Kaidan had a lesion on his spine. At the time it was causing him tons of pain so we were referred to a pediatric neurosurgeon in Springfield, there we were told that he was born with a hereditary weak place in his spine & that he has 2 related conditions as a result. Spondylolisthesis & spondylosis, basically a hairline crack/break and slight slippage of the spine. The effects of these conditions usually don't present themselves until later in life but Kaidan is so active that he injured himself early on {during a backyard football game with his cousins.} I explain all of that to tell you that he has to have annual check-ups if he wishes to continue playing football. We made a deal early on, that he could play if it didn't cause the discs to move any more or the spot to weaken even further. --- PTL there has been no change! Here is the part I had completely forgotten about all until today ... It was last year (one year ago this week) as we planned to take a trip to Springfield that I decided I was going to inquire about bariatric surgery {again} only this time I got more serious. At the time, I was heavily considering the lapband, I had researched it until I was blue in the face. I had also not even heard of VSG, so the band seemed to be the least invasive. A week before we went to Springfield I had done an on-line orientation and even talked to the consultant via telephone. In that convo., I found out that I would likely not qualify unless I had a fist full of cash & comorbidity. I was advised to go ahead & meet with the coordinators at a bariatric clinic there. The plan was to drop in while in town & they would happily visit with me about the band and set a plan into motion. It was that day - 1 year ago - that I decided the lapband wasn't for me. I'm not sure why, it was not a conscious thing at the time, it just happened. Maybe it was the money, maybe it was fear, I like to think it was God telling me to wait. I just circled the block 3 or 4 times and couldn't bring myself to stop. After that day I put the idea of the band in the back of my mind figuring one day it would resurface as it had for the last 8 years or so. Just 3 months later, having no idea that I had come that close, Sunny brought up VSG, and the rest is history! It is amazing to look back and see how God has had his hand in this process from the beginning!
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Since we were of of school today and Michael was coming home from OKC I thought it'd be fun to have a sit down Valentine's dinner as a family. I headed to town and grabbed a bunch of really cheap vanlentiney decor to set the table. The kids had requested lasagna, so I ran with that idea.The whole night exceeded my expectations.
MENU olive garden style salad Lasagna w/ gr. turkey, wheat noodles HM sauce & ricotta ch. fresh sauteed green beans buttered squash & zucchini garlic bread swirled brownies Down 5 pounds in 2 weeks ... preop of course ... not a fan of being such a slow loser and am excited to know that soon the losing will speed up. The best part though is that my mindset is changing. This morning the kids were talking about nutty bars and I couldn't even stomach the thought of a Little Debbie snack for breakfast. I have started really realizing that a protein shake will keep me full. This week I have survived on a small bowl of soup and an avocado for lunch sometimes even less. I'm convincing myself this it's doable. I'm starting to learn about proteins and the balance between healthy and unhealthy. We went out to eat last night and I left the house thinking it would be one of the last time I could order whatever I wanted off the menu. I was really craving a steak so we headed to Applebees. My go-to meal there is steak parmesan with shrimp and garlic mashed potatoes. Last night I looked over the menu and without even giving it a second thought I ordered the steak brochette which was on the under 500 calories menu. It was a steak with a stuffed mushroom and red potatoes, not complete a sleever meal but so much better than I have done in the past. I did though order a diet Pepsi and pretzels for dessert. I've decided between now and the surgery that I will start changing my eating habits but I won't deprive myself of the things I want to indulge in before I can't have them again! This is working pretty well for me because last week I had a mini snack size Snickers bar and A chicken cordon bleu sandwich from Arby's. I've been working on Jaxen too because I think the change is going to be hard on him. After I have the surgery and the weight is falling off of me, I am concerned about what his reaction will be. Last night I got him and Kaid to order steak off of the kids menu with no fuss, then when I told them they could have a shooter glass dessert, he flipper because it was "too small." There are days he does awesome and on Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday of this week he made shakes with me drink them for breakfast and didn't even eat breakfast at school. Then at lunch he was sensible. On Thursday I thought I would change up his daily shake and add orange juice he was in a bad mood to start with and refused to drink the shake, he ate breakfast at school and was back to his old habit of getting second on cereal. That was the beginning of the end so to speak at church the night before we had argued about him being in the front of the line. We had a mini meltdown one night this week too when he threw a cracker at my head because I wouldn't let him make tuna at 10 o'clock that night then he flopped down on the couch and said that I was starving him he was just going to crawl up there and die ... he fell asleep and was fine. That is something I would have said to my mom at my worst. He has an obsession with food that is like a drug addiction. Since moving him to a different class at school he has lost about 6 pounds, but if the scales are right he put most of that weight back on. I'm not really sure what to say and do for him and I just pray everyday about the situation. He's been spending time with Mr. Parks, his therapist, and they are working through all of the issues. They spend time in the cafeteria serving lunch, they talk about what might be bothering Jax and to be honest Jax is a tough egg to crack, he is resistant to all of the charm & minimizes all of the issues. Sometimes I wish there was a magic button that I could flip for his sake, but I will fall on the next best thing... prayer.... Father God,
..... women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 1 Timothy 5:14 Instead of our regular Sunday night mission visit to Yarbrough, we had to attend our Church because the kids had to practice for the Christmas program. They are studying the Book of 1 Timothy and Brother Jared brought up something that stuck with me. He asked if we knew what it meant in 1 Timothy 5:14 when they say "guide the house" other translations say "manage the House" after a few attempts at explanation from church members he explained that he believes that it is the woman who sets the tone for her home. Her attitude sets the mood. What she does is a direct result of what make the house a home. It hit me, The hormonal issue I have due to my weight really effect my home. They obviously effect my attitude, but they also keep me from doing more to make this place a home. I want my husband and children to feel like this is the one place they can go to retreat. That my attitude will be calm and Christ like in order to set the standards for their future. I can try as hard as I can, but I am expecting the shift in my hormones to be huge. I am expecting an even personality without all of the hormone surges. My attitude about the surgery and weightloss before and after will make a HUGE impact on the health of my family also. It is a lot of responsibility and something no one tells you about. Father God, I ask you to be with me tonight as I prepare my heart for this journey. I pray that the changes it brings in my life and the life of my family set the attitude of the family.Thank you for opening my eyes to what a bad attitude or poor personality might do to my family. I know that it is what I do that will effect who they become. Give me patience and consistency, give me discernment and wisdom everyday Lord to grow them into amazing Husbands and Wives who teach their families to live for You! Let the choices I make influence the choices they make in a positive way. Help me to be the wife my husband deserves. That I am able to set the tone of our home in such a way that he desires to be here. That he experiences overwhelming joy when he is at home and that the stresses of our daily lives do not stand in between us and a loving relationship in which we honor you 1st and foremost. Thank You for Your grace and love, In His Holy Name, Amen Today Sunny and I had an appointment to chat with our coordinator, we were going to conference call and set the date for the surgery. Today was the day we were set to pay our deposit, to lock in the date, from this day on there would be no turning back! Today, our coordinator messaged me to let us know she was down with the flu, so we would have to hold off on the appointment until tomorrow. I have always been a firm believer that things happen for a reason, in fact in my StrengthQuest class I have found that Connectedness is one of my top 5 strengths. So, I couldn't help but take this as a sign; Is this Gods way of telling me that the surgery isn't for me? is the hospital not all it is cracked up to be? It is times like this in the quiet peacefulness after all of the kiddos have hit the sack that I sit and talk to God, just he and I, talking about life, searching my heart, just getting to know each other. It is often that he reveals himself to me through mindless web browsing. Tonight, I just couldn't shake Michael's initial question... "is it biblical?" I had prayed about it and even quoted verses and justified my thoughts to him and others, but I had never searched the thoughts of other Christians. So tonight I searched "A Christian's view on weightloss surgery." |
This weight loss is only from June 2015 (I had lost another 51 pounds prior to this)
Blog MissionIt has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I feel like God opened the right doors at the right time. My vision for this blog is not only to document and share my journey with those who care, but also to encourage those who may be following in my footsteps. First and foremost though, I want to give all the glory to God & to focus on his plan for me throughout the journey. What you talkin' 'bout?VSG = Vertical Gastric Sleeve Categories
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