In this blog I'm going to talk about a tidbit of info not even my husband knew about & the revelation I had on a trip Springfield today. But first ... here's a little one year comparison for you! Holy Moly!!! <mind you the 1st was taken in an on flattering pose and I had fair hair... but yeah> On to the story --- About 4 years ago we discovered that Kaidan had a lesion on his spine. At the time it was causing him tons of pain so we were referred to a pediatric neurosurgeon in Springfield, there we were told that he was born with a hereditary weak place in his spine & that he has 2 related conditions as a result. Spondylolisthesis & spondylosis, basically a hairline crack/break and slight slippage of the spine. The effects of these conditions usually don't present themselves until later in life but Kaidan is so active that he injured himself early on {during a backyard football game with his cousins.} I explain all of that to tell you that he has to have annual check-ups if he wishes to continue playing football. We made a deal early on, that he could play if it didn't cause the discs to move any more or the spot to weaken even further. --- PTL there has been no change! Here is the part I had completely forgotten about all until today ... It was last year (one year ago this week) as we planned to take a trip to Springfield that I decided I was going to inquire about bariatric surgery {again} only this time I got more serious. At the time, I was heavily considering the lapband, I had researched it until I was blue in the face. I had also not even heard of VSG, so the band seemed to be the least invasive. A week before we went to Springfield I had done an on-line orientation and even talked to the consultant via telephone. In that convo., I found out that I would likely not qualify unless I had a fist full of cash & comorbidity. I was advised to go ahead & meet with the coordinators at a bariatric clinic there. The plan was to drop in while in town & they would happily visit with me about the band and set a plan into motion. It was that day - 1 year ago - that I decided the lapband wasn't for me. I'm not sure why, it was not a conscious thing at the time, it just happened. Maybe it was the money, maybe it was fear, I like to think it was God telling me to wait. I just circled the block 3 or 4 times and couldn't bring myself to stop. After that day I put the idea of the band in the back of my mind figuring one day it would resurface as it had for the last 8 years or so. Just 3 months later, having no idea that I had come that close, Sunny brought up VSG, and the rest is history! It is amazing to look back and see how God has had his hand in this process from the beginning!
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I have the best support team on the planet & 12 of them, lead by Nicki, got together today to wish me well. I am truly blessed to have so many in my life who care, I sincerely appreciate all of the kind words and supportive gestures from all of you! Here are the details of what this group of friends did for me. Scheming .... In January, we were certain I was doing this so Nicki set the plans in motion. She told me that a friend, Janis, wanted to have an oils party the week before I left and she will do everything and for a brief moment was suspicious then... but I quickly completely forgot about it. Up until the afternoon before the party when Janis mysteriously didn't have heat and Nicki moved the party to Arvest bank (where mom works) without going through me to ask my mom I was"going to an oils party." I thought she was possibly scheming, but felt selfish thinking it, so I still went along with it & wasn't 100% sure until we pulling in the parking lot and I saw Nicki in a pancho. For future reference though... Note to self .... be suspicious immediately when... - When you're sent a group message asking if you wanted to have a party before you leave in a FB message, and your BFF never responds or mentions it ... it should strike you as odd. - You are told that rescheduling the party is "impossible," even if your church canceled due to weather. - Your mom tells you she is asked to make a Mexican themed cake for Ethel! - Your co-worker keeps asking where Janis lives, even though there has been little to no discussion of the party with her & never was it discussed that she would attend. - when you ask your mom if she wants to ride together and she stutters and says has to take the key to Nicki 1st ... even if she is currently in Neosho "just driving around." - When your BFF goes shopping at Hobby Lobby, in February, for party supplies for her BIG 8th anniversary party in May. - ... and never ever trust 12 scheming ladies, who are suspiciously closed lipped. We had a good time together and certainly some laughs! Thanks to all of you who are praying for me continually. In 21 days I will be laying in my bed in a hotel room in the Marriott in Tijuana not Sleeping ... much like I am doing right now, I can't deny that I am nervous - nervous about the flight - nervous that I'll get there and for some reason be denied - nervous that I'll be in lots of pain - Nervous.... I could die ... I'll lose too much weight or not even enough - I think, this is stupid and I don't care how big I am or get ... ... the problem is I do ... I do care... I care enough to endure the pain ... I care enough to endure embarrassment... I care enough to make a change ... so I added an inspiration pic the kids took today ... Since we were of of school today and Michael was coming home from OKC I thought it'd be fun to have a sit down Valentine's dinner as a family. I headed to town and grabbed a bunch of really cheap vanlentiney decor to set the table. The kids had requested lasagna, so I ran with that idea.The whole night exceeded my expectations.
MENU olive garden style salad Lasagna w/ gr. turkey, wheat noodles HM sauce & ricotta ch. fresh sauteed green beans buttered squash & zucchini garlic bread swirled brownies Dear Me, I love you. I want you to be successful, so I am writing you this letter to help you remember what you already know. When times get tough I know you will regret this decision so I am writing this to remind you of why you started this journey! Remember ... at about three weeks you will have a weight loss stall. If you don't have it at three weeks, you will have it soon enough. This is your body adjusting to the rapid lose of weight. Trust the process, put away the scale, increase calories and exercise and keep keeping on. Stalls suck, but everyone has them. You will stall at some point, even while you're doing everything right. The stall will eventually break. They always do. You had valid and compelling reasons for doing this. Remember the pain. Remember the battle. There were reasons. Your job now is to work hard and not blow this. You have a choice: Return to your previous habits or Stay the course ... which will it be? Seriously. There are only two options. The only thing that would be worse than being fat would be being fat after having had your stomach amputated... so really there is only the one choice! DRINK DRINK DRINK - You cannot afford dehydration! PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN - I can't stress it enough... You have to get it in. FIND A WAY TO GET IT IN. You can put yourself in a stall if you don't get enough AND your muscles will atrophy so fast!!! They make flavorless and natural flavor protein powders now, so explore away! But do NOT forget it. Just because you don't have heartburn or reflux actually 'coming up' doesn't mean you are not having acid issues within the sleeve. Take the antacids for the first couple months at least - acid can be mistaken for hunger. Hunger - keep an open mind and allow your sleeve to heal. You will find, once the sleeve is no longer swollen and angry and you are eating more normal foods again that you actually were not really hungry after all. I know it is hard to imagine, but you will just have to hang through it and see what I mean once you are on the other side. Take antacids, drink lots of fluids....you will make it through. Also, did you take the stool softeners? I told you to take the stool softeners. You really don't want to experience weeks of constipation! Oh, the pills are hard to take? Does it come in a LIQUID? Use your brain, future me. Yes, you can. Are you bummed? Talk to someone! You have an amazing support system, take advantage of them. Write a blog post that always helps. You ever thought about talking to God? Don't let this spiral out of control. Get up and get moving! Here are some things that we knew going into this:
And don't forget to MOVE! No matter how little, how awkward, whether you sweat or don't sweat~ find something you like to get you MOVING!! I am proud of you!!! Weight calculated at www.ilostwhat.com
To say that I have become slightly obsessed with the scale would be an understatement. I step on it 2 or 3 times a day, but that is nothing out of the ordinary, I have done that for years, so I am fairly confident that I am not on the verge of developing an eating disorder. Anyway ... Since I decided to kick off a light pre-op diet early and work my way up to the big one, I have been committed to 2 protein shakes a day, a boiled egg or veggie soup for a snack and a regular meal. I have cut my calorie intake a little more each day. I felt like the shake at breakfast was going really well and even the healthy lunch was successful. I have really cut back evening portion sizes and even upped H2O intake. As a result I have gained!!! Water weight you say!?!? Well it is that water weight that leads to the discouragement that leads directly to regular diet failure! It is this frustration that sends me to Tijuana! If there is one thing that has made me nervous about this trip, it is the flight. Not being in the air or plunging to my death, I am nervous that I will be too fat for the seat. I have heard all of the horror stories about big people getting kicked off of the flight or being made to pay for an extra seat. I am scared to death that one of these scenarios would happen to me. How Ironic would it be that the one barrier between me and WLS would be my weight. I have to have a seat that accommodates my size, but it has to be affordable. After countless google searches, phone calls and personal experiments I think I have a plan. First I researched seat width, if we fly economy class the seats are 17.2 inches wide and in 1st class they are 21 inches. The price difference is HUGE, so I would like to fly economy if possible. I measured my seat at work, in which I can sit very comfortably, it is 23 inches wide, this scares me ... that is bigger than the biggest airline seat. I then went to the movies in Neosho, I can sit in these seats, not terribly comfortable, but I can do it. I prefer to have a seat between me and my neighbor, but if my neighbor is my hubby I will survive. Today I swallowed my pride and called that theater to ask them the width of their chairs. I was blessed to tears when the man on the other end of the phone offered to measure them for me. I sat on hold for a could of minutes when he returned breathless he described in detail the measurements he had taken. The seats are 17.5 inches wide along the bottom and 25 inches between cup holders! These #'s make me happy, I am hopeful that I can squeeze this behind into the 17.2 inch seat. I found a great resource called www.seatguru.com on this site I was able to enter my flight number and check out passenger comments on the seats. Delta does offer an upgrade to fly economy comfort, which according to the airline gives you extra leg room and a little more room to spread out and is only $30/person, seatguru doesn't seem to completely back these claims but 4 extra inches at the feet is better than nothing. I will also be heeding the advice of Emmie of authenticallyemmie.com , these are her tips, I feel like if she can do it at 455 pounds I can do it at 360.
I read that American Airlines may be the most Big friendly, but I feel like Delta will be just as accommodating, and less expensive. I plan on posting an update after I have actually flown for those of you who are curious about flying yourself. It cracks me up to hear all of the reasons that people have come-up with to try to convince me NOT to have the sleeve. They lump all weightloss surgeries together and they start telling stories about their Aunt/Grandma who had the "Real bi-pass" done and it about killed her, she can't eat bread anymore or she will vomit and since she can't eat bread her arms and legs are the like of very fragile twigs, no chopstick, yea that's right , skinny straight chopsticks with a chunk of chicken hanging off like big wrinkled feet. To be honest, I feel sorry for Aunt/Grandma Twiggy, but I am not too interested in her weightloss freak out ... the bright side is that I don't plan on having the "Real bi-pass" so we're good... right? ANYWAY, I have compiled a list of top 10 reasons people don't want me to get the surgery, and my response ... #10 - Your hair will fall out! It will grow back! I have hair now, I have never seen a case where it doesn't fall out... but if I am the acceptation to the rule, I will rock the hat and wigs! #9 - Your husband may get jealous & your friends and family won't know you anymore. I hope he gets jealous, in a healthy way. We are secure in our relationship, weight loss is the least of our worries. Will I change? SURE! Will they recognize me? Ummm yes! If they know me now they will know me then. #8 - You can't have Soda anymore Yea, and guess what I can't have beer refraining from that hasn't killed me yet. and I can't have greasy food or junk either, that is not something that is going to kill me, however, continuing to consume it might! #7 - People have had WLS and gained it back! I know a guy who cut his hair and it grew back... what's your point ... It is a life style change ... #6 - You LOVE food too much, you will never be able to handle it. You're right, I LOVE food, but not as much as I love my family and myself. After the surgery I will have to handle it, I have no choice, it isn't like they can sew it back on, or give me a donor stomach. There is no turning back & that is exactly the commitment I need to make the change! #5 - Are you even mentally ready to be Skinny? Are you kidding? There is FINALLY hope for me and I can't wait. Of course I was concerned about missing Fat Frick, but I will work through it and find Frick'n Awesome!. Again, I have no choice, what is done is done, and the thought that I can't mentally handle being a skinny girl is laughable when you think about it. #4 - This is the EASY way out! Yep, it is ..... 5 holes cut into my abdomen, a portion of my stomach pulled out through one of those holes. Letting go of so many things that have defined me for so many years. Leaving my kids for a week and flying for the 1st time across the country on the week of my son's basketball tournament. Weeks on a liquid diet, then eating ping pong sized portions, are all easy things to endure. I suppose that you are going to tell the paraplegic that his prosthetic are the easy way, or the woman who just got laser eye surgery that she took the easy way. Maybe the man who had a triple bypass should have just powered through. Nope not buying that one. This will not be easy! #3 - You will have to take Vitamins forever! As opposed to the metformin, the blood pressure pills, the cholesterol pills the insulin shots... Yep I'll take the vitamins. #2 - You could Die ... and so could you, on your way to work or walking out the door or brushing your teeth ... Thanks for that! So very encouraging. I could also die of a heart attack tomorrow. If it is my time, then it is my time. #1 - You can do it on your own! Have you seen my salads? 1/3 lettuce 2/3's toppings and dressing... and my exercise program, 2 laps to the mailbox 2 days in a row ... yep I am really making a commitment to change! OH and for those who worry about the surgery because it is in "Mexico" the bonus answer is for you... Bonus - Why do you have to go to Mexico, they do the surgery in the USA you know. Yes I know. Let me break it down for you ... It's true the hospital is in Tijuana, but it is in Baja California and is completely safe. It is certified by the American Academy of Hospital blah blah blah and it is just as clean as the hospitals her... there are 2 reasons I chose Mexico... #1 They have made it affordable, and #2 I have been telling you all forever I am Mexican... no really, I cannot handle all of the overkill procedures that the US requires, I am all about getting in and getting it done. I have to go drastic to make a difference. This is what will work for me, I am grateful to all of those who have concerns & know you worry, but now you can see that I have weighed the pro's and con's. ..... women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. 1 Timothy 5:14 Instead of our regular Sunday night mission visit to Yarbrough, we had to attend our Church because the kids had to practice for the Christmas program. They are studying the Book of 1 Timothy and Brother Jared brought up something that stuck with me. He asked if we knew what it meant in 1 Timothy 5:14 when they say "guide the house" other translations say "manage the House" after a few attempts at explanation from church members he explained that he believes that it is the woman who sets the tone for her home. Her attitude sets the mood. What she does is a direct result of what make the house a home. It hit me, The hormonal issue I have due to my weight really effect my home. They obviously effect my attitude, but they also keep me from doing more to make this place a home. I want my husband and children to feel like this is the one place they can go to retreat. That my attitude will be calm and Christ like in order to set the standards for their future. I can try as hard as I can, but I am expecting the shift in my hormones to be huge. I am expecting an even personality without all of the hormone surges. My attitude about the surgery and weightloss before and after will make a HUGE impact on the health of my family also. It is a lot of responsibility and something no one tells you about. Father God, I ask you to be with me tonight as I prepare my heart for this journey. I pray that the changes it brings in my life and the life of my family set the attitude of the family.Thank you for opening my eyes to what a bad attitude or poor personality might do to my family. I know that it is what I do that will effect who they become. Give me patience and consistency, give me discernment and wisdom everyday Lord to grow them into amazing Husbands and Wives who teach their families to live for You! Let the choices I make influence the choices they make in a positive way. Help me to be the wife my husband deserves. That I am able to set the tone of our home in such a way that he desires to be here. That he experiences overwhelming joy when he is at home and that the stresses of our daily lives do not stand in between us and a loving relationship in which we honor you 1st and foremost. Thank You for Your grace and love, In His Holy Name, Amen Not too long before the proposal of the sleeve I was talking to someone about their newest tattoo. She was super proud of it and completely in love with all the ones she had, she asked me if I had any and my response was 'No, I'd like one but I have never found something I love enough to carry around forever.' Her response was thought provoking, she said, "yes, you have to find something you become completely obsessed with in order to make that kind of commitment." It hit me that this is true for absolutely every single big commitment we make. A few short weeks later, I became absolutely obsessed with the idea of this surgery. It is on my mind every single day, I think this is Gods way of preparing me for the emotional changes I will be making. I am so completely excited to be 92 days away from the day that will change my life! Thanksgiving is it ... The day I condition myself for the entire year! The day I am going to miss the most post-op ! So today I savor it ,.. today I pack it in! We have the honor of celebrating 3 times this year ... 2 down 1 to go! As I pulled the plate higher and higher I honestly couldn't believe how much I was eating thousands & thousands of carb loaded calories. I think it is important to note that I only do dessert on occasion... today was no different ... I enjoyed several servings of homemade cranberry sauce ... yummo! After all these years of stuffing myself I have perfected the art. I noticed when all others were so stuffed they couldn't walk I was over here like .... hmmmm what was so so yummo I need more"
This plate is from party #2 at the Price family feast... I had already dug into whatever was next to the potatoes. Today has been a rough day, a lot to do and a lot of waiting. It is 2 days until my last "fat Thanksgiving" and boy am I excited! It is also 3 days until black Friday so all of the department stores have started their deals. Today while Dacota and I were waiting, I found a scale that was $30 off at Kohls. I have a regular old Walmart scale, sometimes it weighs me and sometimes it says error, sometimes I weight 295 and sometimes I weigh 361, I think that this scale is only set to weigh 370 so I thought maybe I was too heavy for it. So I decided to start my journey with a brand new scale. The scale I found is called Taylor Digital Bathroom Scale (pictured) it will weight up to 400 pounds and it beeps when it is finished. I decided I didn't need anything fancy, nothing that measured BMI or bone mass or memorized 4 different peoples stats. Just a scale that help enough weight and that beeped when it was done, so that I will not continue to move and mess up the results. When I got home I unboxed the new scale, inserted the batteries and read the directions. Stepped on the scales and they beeped ... 293.2 ... WHAT ... so I am not as big as I thought!!! Step off... step on ... beep 295... What? Test it with Kaid..... step on watch feet placement ....beep.... 362.4 .... step off... beep.... 362.4 ... step off... beep.... 362.4 ..... finally some consistency! So here it is the number you have all been waiting for .... my official starting weigh is ... 362.4 pounds ... I cannot believe I am putting this out there for the world to read! I did it, I made the decision to change my life ... NOW to tell "My People" ... Who are "My People?" - My People are those who have my back NO MATTER the out come. The people I turn to at a moment's notice and for the most part my very closest family members. I feel like not everyone wants to, nor do they need to hear the details of my every whim, but My People are out of luck, they have no choice! This is how I broke the news all at once in a Facebook group message ..... This is a link to the Dr. I will be using and the facilities ... it answers a lot of questions ... http://www.tijuanabariatrics.com/bariatric-surgery/gastric-sleeve-surgery You are my people so I need you to know .... |
This weight loss is only from June 2015 (I had lost another 51 pounds prior to this)
Blog MissionIt has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I feel like God opened the right doors at the right time. My vision for this blog is not only to document and share my journey with those who care, but also to encourage those who may be following in my footsteps. First and foremost though, I want to give all the glory to God & to focus on his plan for me throughout the journey. What you talkin' 'bout?VSG = Vertical Gastric Sleeve Categories
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