Not going to lie..... I am overwhelmed....in case you missed it I am a week way from jetting off to another country for a life changing surgical procedure. Aside from that there are several other stressers that are making me anxious.... I don't mean to whine, just need to put them down so I process them and so that later when I am being a wuss I can see the major stuff I went through for this! - I am leaving my kids for a week - during Kaid's b-ball tourney. - The kids are anxious too. - A strict diet to me is frightening, I have never been successful, that's why I am here. - I am in finals week of 2 classes which means I have 2 papers, 2 finals & 6 assignments due by 6am surgery morning. - I start 2 new classes at 6am surgery morning. - the yearbook deadline is in March and I have completely forgotten about it... - We need to worry about baseball signups - personal relationships..... - We need to pack for 5 people - Need to order propane - need to pay for SX balance - Get the pigs to the locker - arrange animal care It never ends... Heavenly Father, I thank you for all of the opportunities that you have given me and my family. What my strike us as a reason to whine, should be a reason for thanksgiving. I am sorry for complaining about these things and pray that you will calm my nerves an that you will continue to have a hand in all that I do in my life. I pray that while we are gone, you comfort my children, your children, and ease their anxiety.I pray that you give me peace and faith in you to take care of all situations. I pray the pain is minimal and the recovery is fast. That you will help me to make sure I keep up and meet all of my deadlines. Teach e Lord to be Overwhelmed by you and not by your blessings. I thank you for all of the blessings in my life ... in Jesus name... Amen
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Sunday I woke up and couldn't hardly walk, my back was killing me. I managed to make it through Church, but had plans to get sushi and a pedi with Nicki & Vanessa. I was able to go, but only after I took some left over pain medicine from a toothache & hoped I'd be better by morning. No such luck ... Monday it was the same pain only slightly worse. I took the last of the left over meds & made it through the day. That night as I lay in bed I got to thinking, Maybe it was my kidneys, I felt like it had to be something more than your run of the mill back pain, it almost felt like continuous back labor or the pain I had while pregnant with Jax. I researched and found that excessive amounts of protein and calcium coupled with not enough water was a recipe for kidney stones, this had to be it, I have been on shakes fo 1 1/2 mo. I immediately started applying oils, up to this point I had just done Pan-away, but I started applying purification and drinking hot tea with lemon. After a restless nights sleep I woke still in pain. By the time I made it to work I had decided it was time to find a Dr.
I haven't had a primary care physician for a few years now, I have only visited a gyno. for yearly's so I had to make a choice. I went with my gut and scheduled an appointment at the Noel clinic thinking that I will get to see the female practitioner who I have spoken with about students in the past and found rather helpful. The DO working that day though was Dr. Jumper, along with nurse Alma. After a urinalysis I am happy to report that I do not have an infection of any kind in my system & I am also not pregnant. The Dr. feels like though I didn't remember when, I must have tweaked my back or pinched a nerve. He gave me pain medication & we are hoping it corrects itself. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason & that God has his hands on all things. I do not think a pain in my back so severe it sends me to the Dr. was an accident. The truth is I have been avoiding Dr's especially since I scheduled the SX, because I was sure a US Dr would tell me how stupid I was and convince me to change my plans. The last few weeks I have been a little down and just a little uneasy about the SX, but not anymore. When the Dr. found out what I was planning it actually brought tears to his eyes. He expressed pride in me and told me that I needed to be the face of weightloss in my community. He encouraged me to hold strong and get through it and agreed to be my post-op Dr. He is excited about doing follow-ups with me and cannot wait to follow my progress. Now I am relieved, I am secure in knowing that I have a Dr. who ill support me in all of this and who understands the struggle!
In 21 days I will be laying in my bed in a hotel room in the Marriott in Tijuana not Sleeping ... much like I am doing right now, I can't deny that I am nervous - nervous about the flight - nervous that I'll get there and for some reason be denied - nervous that I'll be in lots of pain - Nervous.... I could die ... I'll lose too much weight or not even enough - I think, this is stupid and I don't care how big I am or get ... ... the problem is I do ... I do care... I care enough to endure the pain ... I care enough to endure embarrassment... I care enough to make a change ... so I added an inspiration pic the kids took today ... Since we were of of school today and Michael was coming home from OKC I thought it'd be fun to have a sit down Valentine's dinner as a family. I headed to town and grabbed a bunch of really cheap vanlentiney decor to set the table. The kids had requested lasagna, so I ran with that idea.The whole night exceeded my expectations.
MENU olive garden style salad Lasagna w/ gr. turkey, wheat noodles HM sauce & ricotta ch. fresh sauteed green beans buttered squash & zucchini garlic bread swirled brownies A new phase in my life has begun, I am in search of whole healthy products that my family can eat. However I miss the convenience of fat family friendly foods, especially for snacking. I heard about Nature Box from a vlogger I follow, Clusie, she reviews some of the snacks she receives, the snacks sounded yummy so I thought I'd check them out. When you sign up for your monthly Nature Box delivery, you take a tastes quiz, complete the delivery info and the first box is free, I think I paid like $1.50 for shipping. I think it took about 4 days to get here so the turn around is super fast. It fit in my regular mailbox which is a plus since the dogs may have gotten it otherwise. So here it is the unboxing of my very first Nature Box. I am a sucker for creative eye catching packaging, so that is a big plus to me. I think that the free sample must have been 1 full sized bag and 4 snack sized, but the card inside said beginning next month I will receive 5 full sized products. The inside is well thought out and very impressive.
After a day full of errand running and show choir watching we decide we are ready for dinner. The Red Onion Cafe is the place. Here is where I tell you that Nicki is a newbie vegetarian, she ordered a black bean avocado chipotle burger, and I got the west coast chicken club with french onion soup - it was yummo ... we decided that we were splurging on dessert. HOLY Heavenly goodness this was a delicious last month of fattyness dessert choice! Today I ate my last cafe special and for dinner Michael made pork on the grill, asparagus & a backed potato. I feel like it is safe to say I have probably regained all "30 sticks of butter" aka 7 pounds. I did manage to accomplish getting a lot bought for the trip and post-op. We ended up at a local whole foods store Fox Farms Whole Foods - There's a lot more to this place than the name suggests: It's part ethnic grocery, part health food store, and part spice shop. I was able to get all of the vitamins that I need to start out - as pure coincidence, I ended up with all the same Now brands. I got a Liquid multi-vitamin I plan on taking 2x's daily, liquid B12, Biotin, Unflavored Whey Protein (click the pic below to link to them.) I am getting pretty excited. It is hard to believe that in one month I will be on the road to being an all new girl. If I were honest I would also say that I am scared to death that in one month and 2 days I will have brought all of the pain upon myself. I just have to keep my sights well beyond that mark and keep on keeping on! 355.8 today - that's down 6.6 pounds - that is only a .6lb loss for the week of the cheater... Since I have just started, I guess we the rule will be that I round up, sound good?
Yesterday evening and all day today, I couldn't get enough food! No matter how hard I tried to tell myself I wasn't hungry, or how much I ate it just didn't seem to be enough & the thought of a shake was icky. I tried to stay healthy, but ate ALL of the healthy food and snacks that I had purchased to last the week. Hopefully this is yet another indicator that I definitely need this operation & not a sign of things to come! So what is it I ate today you ask.... Tons of beef jerky, thinly sliced colby/jack cheese, a piece of chocolate cake, 2 avocados, a few skittles, hot wings and then some! Dear Me, I love you. I want you to be successful, so I am writing you this letter to help you remember what you already know. When times get tough I know you will regret this decision so I am writing this to remind you of why you started this journey! Remember ... at about three weeks you will have a weight loss stall. If you don't have it at three weeks, you will have it soon enough. This is your body adjusting to the rapid lose of weight. Trust the process, put away the scale, increase calories and exercise and keep keeping on. Stalls suck, but everyone has them. You will stall at some point, even while you're doing everything right. The stall will eventually break. They always do. You had valid and compelling reasons for doing this. Remember the pain. Remember the battle. There were reasons. Your job now is to work hard and not blow this. You have a choice: Return to your previous habits or Stay the course ... which will it be? Seriously. There are only two options. The only thing that would be worse than being fat would be being fat after having had your stomach amputated... so really there is only the one choice! DRINK DRINK DRINK - You cannot afford dehydration! PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN - I can't stress it enough... You have to get it in. FIND A WAY TO GET IT IN. You can put yourself in a stall if you don't get enough AND your muscles will atrophy so fast!!! They make flavorless and natural flavor protein powders now, so explore away! But do NOT forget it. Just because you don't have heartburn or reflux actually 'coming up' doesn't mean you are not having acid issues within the sleeve. Take the antacids for the first couple months at least - acid can be mistaken for hunger. Hunger - keep an open mind and allow your sleeve to heal. You will find, once the sleeve is no longer swollen and angry and you are eating more normal foods again that you actually were not really hungry after all. I know it is hard to imagine, but you will just have to hang through it and see what I mean once you are on the other side. Take antacids, drink lots of fluids....you will make it through. Also, did you take the stool softeners? I told you to take the stool softeners. You really don't want to experience weeks of constipation! Oh, the pills are hard to take? Does it come in a LIQUID? Use your brain, future me. Yes, you can. Are you bummed? Talk to someone! You have an amazing support system, take advantage of them. Write a blog post that always helps. You ever thought about talking to God? Don't let this spiral out of control. Get up and get moving! Here are some things that we knew going into this:
And don't forget to MOVE! No matter how little, how awkward, whether you sweat or don't sweat~ find something you like to get you MOVING!! I am proud of you!!! |
This weight loss is only from June 2015 (I had lost another 51 pounds prior to this)
Blog MissionIt has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I feel like God opened the right doors at the right time. My vision for this blog is not only to document and share my journey with those who care, but also to encourage those who may be following in my footsteps. First and foremost though, I want to give all the glory to God & to focus on his plan for me throughout the journey. What you talkin' 'bout?VSG = Vertical Gastric Sleeve Categories
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