Today my 10 year old son decided to finally get back on the scale, he called me in and we read it together 171 it said ... shock ... sadness ... disappointment in myself! He played football summer long and gained 6 pounds, I can't believe it, when did it come to this? I don't know what to do, it's a downward spiral and we have to get a hold of it. I hate it for him he burst into tears and I all I can do is hug him and move on. I didn't know how to comfort him. That night I talked to my boys about having the surgery and about the reasons I wanted to have the it. We were in the car on the way to pick up our foster daughter. Kaidan and I were talking about his fears, and I hear Jax in the background sobbing and saying "I hate myself because I'm fat." I can't believe I let it go that far I can't believe we took it so far that my poor baby hates himself and it's all my fault, so for this I have to have the surgery, I have to change who I am so that I can change who he is and hopefully in this he sees that it's for health reasons. Hopefully I get the energy to run with him, hopefully I figure out how to feed my family and change our lives. That's the day I decided to have gastric sleeve surgery, if for nothing more than for him. I have to change what we do! I have to get through to him though that the surgery is not the answer. I don't want him to think that he can go through life and eat and eat as much as he wants until he's old enough to have the surgery, and that will fix it. I want him to know that it stops today... now to the hard part, figuring out how to make that happen. Lucky for me I have access to 1 of the best therapist in the area, Mr. Parks is amazing and I've spoken with him and he's agreed to see J. Lord Jesus, I come to you and I pray for my family father, Please comfort Jaxen and help him to keep his personality and gain confidence. I pray he learns to love himself the way everyone else does, help him to see himself through the eyes of those around him and not through fat glasses. Please father be with me as I try to change my families life and be with families who may be suffering from the same thing. I pray that my baby does not have to suffer the way that I have had to suffer. Be with Mr Parks, give him the knowledge to tackle this situation. I pray that you also give me the knowledge and the strength that I need throughout this journey and give Jax the insight to know the surgery is not because I hate myself but because I love myself. Thank you for the opportunities that you've given us and the family that you've given us. In Jesus name, Amen *It is important to note that I later found out he had grown 3 inches throughout the summer ... and weighed 6 pounds less 2 weeks later.
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This weight loss is only from June 2015 (I had lost another 51 pounds prior to this)
Blog MissionIt has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I feel like God opened the right doors at the right time. My vision for this blog is not only to document and share my journey with those who care, but also to encourage those who may be following in my footsteps. First and foremost though, I want to give all the glory to God & to focus on his plan for me throughout the journey. What you talkin' 'bout?VSG = Vertical Gastric Sleeve Categories
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